


My Sun, My Son

by SpaceOut



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Both 'good grief' and 'death', Burr Worries, Depression, Grief, Hamilton's a Dad, I don't know how social services works, John Laurens is C O M I N G, Mentions of Suicide, More tags to be added, Multi, Over protective dad, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Social Services, phillip is a sassy two year old, time lines are weird af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceOut/pseuds/SpaceOut
Summary: Alexander Hamilton really only has one goal in life: raise his son to be safe, healthy, and brilliant. But as a widower, orphan, immigrant? It's a little hard. He's lucky to have a nice job and have friends. Even if said friends just so happen to be a) his co-workers/boss b) his late wife's sisters or c) those ladies who are always nice to him at the library and let him rent out the back study room. And Lewis, but he doesn't count. And? He's not even thirty yet. Fun. (Read as: Fuck.)





	1. Lights Up

**Author's Note:**

> "To say 'I love you' would be calling space small, for there are no words to describe the never ending love I have for you."

_Prologue_

\--

Alex cried when he first held his son.

Philip was a small, pink thing, just as babies were to be. Eyes not yet opened, but tufts of curly brown hair akin to his father's own covered his head.

Alex cried when he looked back to his wife.

Her face was pasty white, a stark contrast against her dark hair, and closed eyes never to open again.

He held his son close and promised to never leave him.

\--

The waiting room was empty, all things considered. Just Angelica and Peggy- or really, just Angelica, as Peggy had slipped off to buy a drink moments ago.

Angelica was the first to hold Eliza's son, and when given back to the father of the child, was the first to know of her sister's death. She held it together because Peggy was going to come in any moment and hold the child herself, and then receive the news.

While Peggy held Philip, Angelica looked over at Alexander, who was smiling, crying, and emotionless all at the same time. She felt similar, not that she'd display it, but, at least she didn't have a son to raise. That man must be going through the unimaginable.

Philip was back in Alexander's arms, Peggy fell to her knees, and Angelica rushed to her sister's side.

Alex took a step back, turning to one of the nurses, handing off his son, and excused himself. His hands were shaking and the world seemed to spin once he no longer had Philip to ground him.

\--

_Eliza Hamilton. Best of wives, best of women. Loved wife, daughter, and sister._

Alexander sat down criss-cross next to Eliza's grave two weeks later, their son in his arms, a sad smile across his face. "Philip outshines the morning sun, our son, when he smiles he knocks me out," He took a stuttered breath; "I fall apart. And I thought I was so smart."

Philip, clad in a green bundle of blankets crafted by his grandmother, made a grabbing motion for his father's hand, which seemed to comfort him in absence of his mother; he cried often, likely due to the fact he knew his mom wasn't there-- and, oh boy, the kid had Hamilton-Schuyler lungs, that was for sure.

"You would have adored him, I-I bet you do," Alex looked up, because if Eliza was one thing, she was an angel, in every sense of the word now, it seemed. From day one, Alexander could see her halo, her kindness and warmth.

Oh, if he could trade his life for hers, she'd be sitting here right now, and Angelica would smile. It would be enough.

He looked back down as Philip made some odd gurgling sound, as he always seemed to do when he saw something he liked. Maybe kids could see angels since they were untouched by the atrocities of man. Maybe Philip got to see his mom after all. Maybe Alex's own mother got to meet Eliza, just as he always wished they had the chance to do. Maybe he-

No, no, Alex had Philip, his son was already motherless-- he would not leave his son an orphan due to his lack of faith. If no other deity was there to help him through, Eliza and his mother would guide him. Now, all he had to do was live life as best as he could.

_"Philip, pride is not the word I'm looking for..."_


	2. With Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is-
> 
> (in a never-ending storm since his life began, in rage since he began to think, in heartbreak since the day he understood)
> 
> -alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caution: panic attack and various other things like it

Chapter One

\--

Alexander swallowed as he walked into the store, Philip in a vest that made it hard to see, but it made him feel an awful lot more like he was here, and not just dreaming.

(Did he wish he was dreaming? Would Eliza be back? Or, if had Eliza survived, would his son not be here before his eyes?)

It was odd going out, for the past month his friends and family (the Schuylers were family, even without Eliza to tie them together) had been buying things for him, going out when he could not, but today he had to face reality: Alex was a grown man with a son- he could not just rely on others as if he were a child himself.

Even if this place was riddled with memories that threatened to consume him if he stopped for more than a second or two.

Philip reached out for the colorful box of cereal that Alex had in his hand while making a sound that was something of a premature giggle.

A soft smile made its way to the new father's lips.

He could make it through- for Philip, if nothing else, for Philip.

\--

"What do you mean my car is unfixable?" Hamilton hissed at the guy at the car shop. Philip was home with Eliza's mother and Peggy, so for once, Alex didn't have to hold back. "You're a car repair place! That's what you're supposed to do! Do you have any idea how out of my budget a car is? I'm barely in a paid internship! One late day and I'll be fired on the spot!"

The guy- Clark?- put down the clipboard, and nodded, "New father?"

Alex faltered, nearly stumbling back. "Yeah, uhm-"

"My husband works in social services," Clark leaned over to write something on the clipboard. "I see a lot of new dads. Have a daughter myself, so, what you're going to do is the following: take the junk that is your crushed car, sell it to the man who has this phone number--" he pointed at the number on the page "-- get a decent amount of money from it, then lastly you call--" Clark pointed at another number "--this woman, who will give you the best price for the best car on this side of the country."

Alex blinked, his aggressive posture slumping down into a defeated one, "Thanks man. I'm a little lost without my wife, sorry I yelled."

Clark just wrote down one more phone number before handing his client the paper, "One last thing, here's my husband's work phone, just in case you need anything, alright? Do your kid good. And," He looked Alex dead in the eyes, "get a fucking decent job before the second year is up. School is costly, even for the young ones."

Hamilton held the paper gingerly in his left hand, his right on the back of his neck, and a small sheepish smile on his face. "Right, yeah, you're right. I'll work on it."

The owner of the shop waved him off, "Come in tomorrow and I'll help you if you'd like. Business is slow this time of year."

Alex walked out with a stronger sense of hope than he'd had in months.

\--

But hope was a fickle thing.

\--

Alex was at his desk when he heard the clap of thunder.

He was not fond of storms. It had stormed on the day his mother died, it had thundered and crackled on the day Alex had found his cousin, and to hell with it all, the final blow was the hurricane that ravished his town.

(His story was told by storm.)

Next thing he knew he was on the ground.

"Alexander," Angelica's voice whispered from above him. "Alex, please, you need to breathe. Or open your eyes, or- or give me some sign you can hear me, alright?"

Hamilton could still hear the crash of thunder, could still feel the heavy grief settled in his chest, could still hear Philip crying in the background, and- oh, oh no, Philip. Philip should not suffer because his father is too weak to help him. He needs to get up, he needs to open his eyes, he-

_Oh, Eliza, love, don't let me fail our son._

The feeling of cold hands over his shoulders was fleeting, but it was there. He was sure of it.

_Eliza._

Eliza had faith in him. The yellow sky was starting to appear. More would come, but in this moment of silence? Alexander must help Phillip.

He opened his eyes to Angelica's wide eyes.

"Philip?" Alex's voice was scratchy and quiet, but Angelica was a goddess, just like her sister, and understood.

"Hercules has Philip, do you want to see him?"

Alex took a deep breath and nodded, he struggled to stand, even with the desk for aid. Keep going, don't stop until you physically cannot go any longer-- and then take another step.

When Alex finally made it into the living room he was graced with the sight of his tiny little Philip in hulking Hercules' arms. Another crack of thunder made him take another deep, shaky breath.

Angelica escorted him to the couch next to Herc, so Alex could have a stand to lean on, while being close enough to his son to calm him.

The storm will pass eventually.


	3. And Time Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is a father above everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you guys want translations!!
> 
> I'm trying to keep the Spanish and French to a pretty basic level so ya'll don't have to search it up. 
> 
> ALSO 
> 
> SCREW THOMAS JEFFERSON HONESTLY

Chapter Two

\--

The yellow sky has not yet turned into the rest of the storm, but the haze of it blurs together the rest of the year. And onto the next.

A new apartment, a new job, and a new life for the Hamiltons. Eliza not forgotten, not yet even fully grieved by her husband, but Alex is nonstop-- he will continue on. He will persevere, especially if he's got the closest reminder of his late wife to take care of.

The apartment was a small two bedroom thing, a cute kitchen that really had no use outside of the microwave and fridge, and a living room made for dancing and rolling around on the ground. Decorations lined the walls, sat upon any flat surface, and toys scattered the floor. It was a perfect home for the two of them.

Alex swayed to the rhythm of the jazz music with Philip's tiny hands in his; the kid was walking, but his coordination still needed some work. "That's it, Philip, smile and dance. But never back down, okay? No matter what _Tio Aaron_ says."

Aaron and he were close, if only personally, so naturally Aaron and Philip spent a lot of time together. Since Alexander's new job as a lawyer granted him few friends, he'd take the few he could manage. Burr may be an opinion-less snake, but he was good with kids and could be trusted.

"One day, you'll blow us all away," Alex grinned at his son before picking him up. "Your mother would be so proud, you know? _Tu maman._ She wanted to teach you French, which completely baffled me." He widened his eyes comically as his son laughed. "I know, I know. Spanish is much more versatile now days. But your mother was adamant about it, which is why _Oncle Gilbert_ will teach you when you are older or he might be now, you're being awfully tight lipped today. He's much better at French than I am."

Philip pointed at his dad, who nodded with exaggeration. " _Tú papà habla español, niño, no francés._ At least, not very well, let's leave your uncle for that. Maybe, god forbid, Mr. Jefferson, can help you if you take a shine to his..." Alex frowned at the very thought. "Actually, let's not."

 His son probably couldn't understand the majority of what he was saying, but at least he was getting familiar with his father's quite frankly, outrageous vocabulary.

 _"Papà,"_ Philip whined as he squirmed in his father's arms. Entertained one moment, bored out of his mind the next. Boys.

"Alright, alright," Alexander put down Philip next to his toys before pulling out his laptop. "You're abusing the right of being able to say my title, aren't you? You know you could get away with anything."

He gave a half smile back to Philip, who was picking up a doll that he had picked out from the store. "You're just like your mother."

\--

 **Herky-Derky:** alex come on man

 **Herky-Derky:** just leave Philip with us and go out for one night

 **Laffie-Taffie:** oui, come on mon ami!!! i want time with mon favorite neveu!!!

 **Herky-Derky:** at least go to poetry night with angelica, she's been wanting to talk to you for like

 **Herky-Derky:** ever

 **Laffie-Taffie:** oui oui oui pleas e!! I WILL DO anNyTHING

 **Laffie-Taffie:** except ask george out

 **Laffie-Taffie:** BUT AN yTHinG ELSE

 **A-A-RON:** you're all spamming my phone

 **A-A-RON:** but they are right, alex, go out this friday

 **A-A-RON:** don't think i haven't seen you smuggling work to do when you get home

 **Laffe-Taffie:** even if burr is the wo  rs t, he is right in this instance

 **Herky-Derky:** where are you man it's been almost an hour

 **Herky-Derky:** alex never goes anywhere without his phone???

 **Laffie-Taffie:** ARE YOU WELL ALEXANDER????!!??!?

 **A-A-RON:** I saw him yesterday so i don't knwo what he'd be doing

 **Herky-Derky:** ARE YOU ALIVE

 **Hamildamn:** Philip is sick, Angelica is currently in London, and I'm not doing well myself. Hope you have a good last of your week.

\--

Hercules Mulligan has known Alexander probably longer than anyone in this country (other than Aaron, but they went to college together), and still he only knows a fraction of the tragedies his friend has gone through. Which is probably why he's pacing at Lafayette's apartment.

Next to a pacing Lafayette.

The poor rug was going to be trampled.

Minutes later, Hercules made up his mind, "I'm calling Angelica."

Laf stared at him as if he had just discovered the miracle of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't notice!!! alex is raising his son without gender norms!!! and I am!! vv excited about this for some reason!!!
> 
> and sorry pals i like alex to have pals bc he's suffered and deserves them ok?? okAY
> 
> (no he doesn't but yes my version of him does oKAY)
> 
> nonetheless, u may notice that i'm pretty bad at timelines so forgive me
> 
> OKAY I"LL SHUT UP NOW UNTIL NEXT TIME


	4. With Eliza...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do we even know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops sorry I was watching Star Trek
> 
> AlSO WARNING THERE IS YET ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK IN THIS ONE

Chapter Three

\--

Alex hummed a melody to his almost two year old son, who had just came home from the doctor's with him about an hour ago-- turns out, his son had the common cold, still, it scared him half to death when he first heard Phillip cough.

Now, Alexander himself is not _constantly_ sick, but he is sick often enough to raise some warning flags with social services. Which is outrageous.

But thankfully, he has Lewis on his side. Lewis is the social worker he switched to nearly the moment they started talking, Lewis, also, was Clark's husband. (Who still fixes his cars today, and comes over occasionally with Lewis if he's free.)

He knows why the social services were on his tail the moment his wife died, he was an immigrant, orphan, he had tan skin, and to top all that off, he often got in scuffles during college. (A few fist fights when you're nineteen shouldn't affect you when you're twenty-four, right?)

And now he was just so tired.

Whenever he was at work, he was not attached to anything, to anyone, he did his job, he did it well, and Alex went home at the end of the day.

He was hollow, despite his outward appearance.

When he got home, he only lived for Phillip. He had friends, sure, ones he owed tons to, others he'd known for years. But he wasn't...

Alex just couldn't...

He exhaled a shaky breath as he put down his son.

Alexander Hamilton, without Phillip, would have no reason to live. He wouldn't stop living; there was so much to do after all. But he would be a completely monotone, he would not have good days, he would not know how to smile, he would not have friends, and if Alex was skin and bones now? He would be a goddamn skeleton.

Running a hand through his hair, Alex looked around the nursery that Lafayette and Hercules had put together when he finally moved into a house without the chilling memories of Eliza. Now, he thought as he spotted a picture on the wall of his late wife, those memories were warm, if a little cloudy.

And it terrified him. What if he forgot Eliza? What if he couldn't remember stories to tell his son? Would Phillip ever know anything about his mother? Could he bear to talk about it? God, can he? Can Alex speak his wife's name without getting choked up?

Yes, yes he could. Why would he ever think not? Eliza was the love of his life-

His breathing was getting erratic-- he needed to get away from Phillip, his son didn't need this. Alex stumbled out the door of the nursery, a hand clutched over his chest as he tried to breathe. Which wasn't really working. He needed Eliza.

Oh god, he needed Eliza.

Alexander made it as far as the entrance of the living room before falling, all he felt was water seeping into his lungs, unable to breathe anything but water- choking him, making his vision tunneled and hazy.

Distantly, he heard his phone ring.

The last thing Alex saw before his vision went black was the red case of his phone buzzing on the coffee table.

\--

"Angelica?"

_"Hercules? Do you know what time it is?"_

"Yeah I just," Hercules looked over at Laf, who shrugged, "Alex has been acting weirder than normal. You know him best."

 _"Where'd you get that assumption?"_ Angelica sounded almost amused over the line now.

"A drunken confession when your mom was watching Phillip on New Year's, that doesn't matter actually. But if he says 'he's not doing well' does that mean..." Hercules let the unspoken hang in the air, Angelica would know.

_"I...I don't know."_

Angelica doesn't know.

"Shit."

\--

Lafayette buried his face in the crook of Hercules' neck. "What do we do, mon ami?"

Herc had his arms wrapped around his best friend, unsure of what else to do. "I don't know man, should we..."

"Oui," Laf nodded as well as he could from his position, "Let's stop by the store to get something to bring so we don't...seem weird?"

"Seem suspicious," The shorter of the two corrected offhandedly, pulling away from Laf for a second. "Now get dressed, I not sure if Alex would be fond of you in only boxers."

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also tHANK U FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS STORY I AM EXCITED TO WRITE MORE
> 
> but fair warning after this weekend updates will slow


	5. The Uncles™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander Hamilton understands his life is like a drama, but honestly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an excuse to use my honestly outrageous knowledge of mid eighteen hundreds 
> 
> have fun
> 
> anD ANOTHER THING CHILDREN ARE HARD TO WRITE I"M GOING TO DIE

Chapter Four

\--

Alex woke up to shouting and someone lifting him up onto the couch. This would be more frightening if he didn't hear Laf screaming profanities in French while also asking Phillip for forgiveness. Shit, right, Phillip.

He opened his eyes to see Hercules Mulligan right in his face, which in response to Alex may or may not have screamed a bit. Which at least got Herc off of him.

"What are you guys doing here?" Alex muttered once he regained coherent thought. "It's like--" Hamilton glanced at the clock, read four AM, and then gasped "--Shit, Laf, go get Phillip. The train is about to come."

Laf nodded and bounded off to go get baby Phillip while Hercules stared at Alex with wide eyes. It was kinda scary for big, tall, gruff Hercules to have eyes the size of saucers in something that looked an awful lot like pajamas. "Man, are you okay?"

"My ears are ringing."

Alex snorted.

When Lafayette came back with sleepy little Phillip the ground started to tremble. Phillip's dad held out his arms for when the boy inevitably started crying due to the loud noise. He was getting better about it as he got older, and was even able to talk about it a little bit, but there was always a train that came by that scared the kid more than anything.

" _Papà_ ," Phillip cried out with a trailing cough as the noise got louder, his little arms around his father's neck. "Make it stop!"

"I can't, _mijo_ , you'll have to stick with me," Alex bounced Phillip in his arms slowly, making sure that he's breathing through the tears. "You know what that is, don't you?"

It was a way they got over Phillip's crying spells, learning a new word, which is usually followed up by a fact about the word, even if Phillip only heard gibberish, and a soft song to lull the toddler back to sleep.

"Train," Phillip murmured with only minor trouble with the pronunciation.

Alexander smiled as the train started getting farther away, and his son nuzzled farther into his shoulder. He spoke softly, in hopes of Phillip falling asleep without having to sing, "That's right, Phillip, you know there's a big railroad for those trains going all the way across the country? It was built in the mid eighteen hundreds. Right where they met was a gold spike engraved with the words: _The Pacific Railroad ground broken Jany 8th 1863 and completed May 8th 1869._ Along with: _May God continue the unity of our country as the railroad unites the two great Oceans of the world. Presented David Hewes San Francisco._ And: _The Last Spike._ "

He inhaled deeply before checking if Phillip was asleep, which, thank god, he was. Alex turned back over to see Lafayette and Hercules giving him an odd look. Rolling his eyes, Alex walked back over to the nursery and put Phillip down.

The picture of Eliza didn't bother him as much as before.

\--

"Mon ami," Laf blurted out right when Alex made his way back into the living room, where his two slightly perturbed friends were standing. "How?"

Alex does a double take, at everything really. He woke up at four AM after passing out because of a panic attack, with his friends at his apartment, he just barely woke up in time to help Phillip through the Friday night train, and on top of all that, said friends are still here and in their pajamas.

It takes a measurable amount of willpower to refrain from having another episode in front of his friends. Though, there really wasn't any need to worry them, so he straightened his back and smiled awkwardly.

"How what?"

He managed to console the two enough to go back to their apartment by sunrise. They worry too much. And...God, Alex was going to have to call Angelica later today, and he didn't look forward to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u have fun?


	6. ...Mildly Unprepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History has it's eyes on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longest chapter yet!!!
> 
> also keep a lookout for some of my other works, i'm currently working on a text fic (everyone loves those, right?) and another jamilton thing and MAYBE a lams thing but who knows

Chapter Five

\--

Alex picked up Phillip a few hours later, intending on having Aaron watch his son until nightfall so he could get some writing done, but sadly, he picked up Phillip with his intentions being shattered as he heard another knock at his door that really did not sound like Aaron Burr.

He swallowed hard, only a few people knew he lived here, and none of them knocked like that. Slowly putting down his still sleeping son, Alex attempted to calm his thoughts. It was probably the landlord or someone who had overflowed the sink again so there may be leaking. Hopefully it was the latter, actually. If it was the landlord he may be kicked out of the building and oh god social services would be relentless-

George Washington's face stared down at him when he opened the door.

"Sir?" Alex squeaked out, moving his free hand to straighten his attire, which consisted of a sweatpants and an old DC comics tee shirt. "Uh, please do pardon me, but what are you doing here?"

Washington smiled down at him, adjusting his tie slightly, "Aaron had to cancel last minute, asked me to come by."

As if Alexander wasn't having a bad enough week. "Oh erm, thank you, sir." He swung the door open to let his boss in. His boss just so happened to be New York State senator George Washington.

This was _great._

He had kids...kinda. Phillip was in good hands. But something about this was fundamentally wrong.

Washington stepped in and looked around with a smirk, "Cleaner than your office."

"Sir!"       

"Alexander, we're not at work, call me George."

"I find the mere thought nauseating," Alexander said dryly. If this is the game Washington wanted to play then hot damn, he can pull that. Washington rolled his eyes and looked around for a few more moments before asking the golden question:

"Your son?"

"My sun," Alex shook his head with a smile, his ponytail was scratching his neck again, but the thought of his son faded any irritation he had. Which is probably why Jefferson managed to derail him so much, damn the man! He's the same with Patsy and Polly! Hypocrite.

Right, yes his son.

"Follow me and I'll give you the rundown," He hummed, spinning on his heel to the nursery. "He's just about to turn two, so he knows a lot of words, but has a bit of trouble stringing them together; feel free to say the words in the correct way so he'll learn. Phillip, like most kids, will have crying spells every once and a while, and if you start teaching him something about...you know, whatever he's crying about, he should be fine." When they reached the door way, Alex locked eyes with Washington. "And you use baby talk so much as once, boss or not, I will kick your ass to the curb, understand?"

Washington gave him a mock salute before seeing Hamilton's steely glare. He put down his hand and nodded, "Don't worry, son, I've watched Martha's kids time and time again...You're not finished are you?"

Alex shook his head as he picked up his barely awake son, who was grabbing half heartedly for his pop's collar. "Hey, little man," He smoothed out his son's curls. "There's someone I want you to meet."

Phillip blinked his eyes open to see Washington staring down at him. He quickly hid his face in his father's shirt.

 _"Mijo,"_ Alex made Phillip look at him. "Mr. Washington, erm--" he looked over at his boss awkwardly "--George, is going to be with you today? Okay? I know you like to draw with Tio Aaron _,_ but he can't come today. So George is going to be here. Don't let him talk down to you, okay? He forgets that sometimes, smack him when he does. You know the tone."

The two year old looked back over at George, who was making a face at Hamilton Sr. "No."

"No?" Phillip's father looked at his son incredulously. "Phillip, you'll never hear me say this again, but take a page out of Tio Aaron's book and learn some diplomacy. Otherwise known as, play nice."

Washington held his hands up in surrender. "Can he even understand you?"

Phillip reached out to smack George.

"He's a bright kid," Alex smiled widely. "But I may have taught him that phrase as soon as he started speaking."

And George thought Thomas was bad.

\--

"-And I know you've had some experience with kids but let me tell you, he's a little different-"

"-Alexander."

"-He's pretty unforgiving, so you really, really have to put some effort into getting him to like you-"

"-Alexander."

"-But you should probably also know he's not all too picky about anything, I trust you know about the food so feel free to raid the kitchen, though there's probably not much in there at the moment-

"-Alexander Hamilton, shut up."

Phillip reached out to smack George again.

"-Nonetheless, don't spoil him with strawberry unless he's actually done something good. If he asks for his train, don't look for it, don't get it out, it's only for when he learns a new phrase in Spanish-"

It's been half an hour and Alex still hasn't stopped speaking.

" _Papà_ ," And that was all it took, one word from Phillip and Alex stops speaking mid sentence and attends to his kid. "Shh."

"You're right," Alex bounced the kid on his hip before setting Phillip on the ground next to his dolls and action figures. He turned to face Washington, motioning him over to the kitchen for a bit of privacy.

George braced himself for more words.

He was quite surprised when Alex practically loomed over him and pointed at his chest. "If he gets hurt, there is a network of people who will kill you. Don't fuck this up."

"Of course." George understood, he really did. He was also fairly certain that Alex would convince Thomas to hold him down if he did anything to that kid.

The one eighty of Hamilton gave Washington whiplash.

"Great, well then, I'll pack up my bag, say bye to Phillip, and then head out."

Washington stared wordlessly as Alex walked out the kitchen archway into the main house. Lord help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating sooner but u g h school and shit man it sucks


	7. Never Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Writing's a soundboard for those who know how to use it."
> 
> or
> 
> a cameo appearance for a later reoccurring character

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no seriously spot the cameo
> 
> BUT GUYS???
> 
> i know I"M tEERRIBLE and haven't responded to you guys personally but man I'm so happy you like it!!
> 
> I apprecite the comments so much, life's been kinda woAH lately, but these really can make me smile before facing,,,,REALITY   
> (DUN DUN DUN)
> 
> WITHOUT FURTHER ADU

Chapter Six

\--

\--

_"Aaron?"_

"Sir? Can I help you?"

_"Where does Alexander keep...the...uhm, what did he call it?"_

"The Book of Power, sir?"

_"...Yes?"_

"At his desk, right bottom drawer," Aaron walked over to check on Theo, his four year old's dance class was canceled today, which is why he couldn't babysit Phillip, and if the boy wasn't sick he would have brought over Theodosia.

_"Thank you so much, when Alex said Phillip was ill, I didn't know that meant random spells of crying."_ There was some shuffling and the sound of crying coming into the receiver.

"The trick with that is if you bundle him up in a blanket, put on a documentry, and sit next to him, Phillip will be out in minutes."

_"Remind me to give you a raise."_

"Just keep the kid safe, sir, and that would be enough. Theo's looking at me funny, so I have to go."

_"Goodbye, son."_

"Seeya, sir."

Aaron lied about that last part, but Theo was looking sadly at her stuffed lion that Alex gave her...He had a bad feeling too.

\--

Alex made his way to the library, laptop bag securely by his side, and screaming inside. This has just been kinda a shitty week for him, normally he'd stay with Phillip, but he needs to vent into his writing so his mood won't affect his son.

 Luckily, there was sweet heart Sally Hemming and Martha Manning whom both worked at the library on the weekends, and they always let him rent out a study area in the back corner where no one goes. And of course, once he got writing, he wouldn't stop until he was satisfied or someone called him home.

And he would never be satisfied.

Alexander knew he had a whole mess of untouched problems, he wasn't stupid. Really. He had major anxiety and something along the lines of PTSD. Couldn't let that stop him though. Life was hard enough being a single immigrant dad in America, add to it mental health problems? Alex would never see his son again.

So, he had self help. And not the kind that you pick up at the store and said 'in order to help yourself you first must...' it was the kind you create yourself. Not to take down others...But he was a 'do it at home' kind of guy. But...He wasn't at home, was he? Do it at the library? That sounds kind of tacky, doesn't it?

Alex sighed, looking up from his laptop, finding a man with curly brown hair looking at him through the window. The guy blushed and ducked away.

Weird.

He cracked his knuckles. Time to keep writing his novel.

(Yeah, Alexander Hamilton doesn't _just_ write informational pieces.)  

(Mostly informational pieces.)

\--

George eventually got Phillip to trust him.

It took two hours, a spilled apple juice, and a surprisingly hard punch to the nose. But George now has a sleeping Phillip in his arms, and honestly he's exhausted.

God, he was glad Martha took care of most of the heavy lifting when the kids were younger. How Alexander manages this is beyond him.

Maybe he should tell Alex to cut back his hours.

Yeah that would go well.

"History has its eyes on you," He sang softly to the kid, the documentary still playing in the background. "You are the brightest light in your father's eyes, and that man will make history. I'm sure of it."

Phillip just made some cute cooing noise and went straight back to sleep.

Probably for the best anyway.

George wondered if it was morally okay to sleep on this kind of job.

Well, he fell asleep anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS WHO IT WAS


	8. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron deals with this on a bi-weekly basis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope all these vague comments in the story are slowly creating a clearer picture of hamilton's background 
> 
> and soRRY FAM ALMOST NO PHILLY IN THIS CHAP

Chapter Seven

\--

"Aaron."

"Alex, you need to go home," Aaron said softly, walking up next to his friend. "Come on, it's getting late."

"But- Theo?"

"Theo's in the front with Sally, Washington is worried about you, it's nearly ten." He helped Alex up from his chair, and then made sure to save his friend's work before shutting the laptop. "Come on Alex, pick up your computer and get your jacket on. Your son hates it when he doesn't see you after midnight."

"Isn't your daughter only four? What's she doing out this late?"

"Your son is only two and you bring him to museums."

"My son isn't going to museums late at night," Alex grumbled, complying with Aaron's requests. His brain was a little foggy...Okay, pretty foggy.

Aaron steadied Alex by grabbing the other man's shoulder. "You alright? Did you eat anything? Drink anything- actually, you know what, I should have known better than to ask. Alex, you can't keep doing this..."

Alexander batted his friend's hand away. "I'll be fine, A, no need to get so worked up."

"I get worked up because no one can contact you on your phone, no one has heard from you since this morning, you never eat when you should, you're almost always dehydrated. I get worked up because one day this will hurt you too bad to recover from," Aaron threw on his own (abet darker) jacket. "I don't want your son to see you fall. Your pride will kill you one day, I swear."

 "My pride will have to wait sixteen years then," Alex huffed, a hand clapping Aaron on the shoulder. "I'm fine, Aaron, you know I get sucked into my writing sometimes."

"There's a limit, Alex, you of all people should know that."

Low blow, Burr, low fucking blow.

"Get the hell out of 'York then, Jersey boy," He shouldered his backpack. "We live on a limitless skyline."

"Get the hell out of your own ass, Hamilton, I've lived in NYC longer than you."

"Bullshit."

"Who graduated college first?"

"Shut up, Burr."

"Oh how the tables have turned-"

"Daddy!" Theo ran up to her dad, clad in her pajamas, Alex noticed with amusement. "Are we bringing Mr. Hamilton home? Since we have a few boxes to move in the car already?"

Alex looked at Aaron who shushed his daughter with an 'it's supposed to be a surprise, love,' then a significant look back to Alex. Then back to his daughter. Then to Sally.

  
            Oh, something's up, and Aaron is being tight lipped as usual.

\--

"Alex, I- can't breathe," Aaron gasped as his (best?) friend hugged him. "Let go."

Alexander stumbled backward, a wide grin stretched across his face. "I love you, Aaron Burr."

"Please don't."

"Okay, but still."

Aaron rolled his eyes as Theo and Philip played peek-a-boo in the background. "You seemed kind of...In a funk, and I knew Theo was going to be getting bigger and wanting more room...So I ended up here."

"You were worried," Alex may just cry. He's had an emotional twenty-four hours.

"Yeah, I'm worried, Hercules, Laf, and Angelica, may I remind you, are also very worried."

"That's why you called in Washington."

"Actually I called in Washington because dance got canceled for Theodosia. The world doesn't revolve around you, Hamilton."

"No, obviously it revolves around Phillip and Theo."

With a sigh, Aaron nodded. "That's true."

\--

"Wait Angelica?"

"Have you called her?"

"..."

"Hamilton breathe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i just had a surgery on monday and as of rn i'm at a weird low blood pressure so sorry if i didn't catch any mistakes on this
> 
> if there are...correct me please? 
> 
> so you all have fun, hopefully they're be another update this weekend but since i've been out of school i'm kinda swamped by work

**Author's Note:**

> there is more to come and more for me to eDIT THE SHIT OUT OF
> 
> comments are nice, but not required
> 
> (mostly because i have no idea what the fCUK i'm doing let's be real here)
> 
> also i swear alot whoops should probably mention that
> 
> uuHHHH sOOOO
> 
> uNTIL NEXT TIME


End file.
